|From Ashley's Blog|
Ashley struggled the entire episode of what was best for her baby once it was born. Her mom was a young mom and she watched her struggle her whole life, she always felt like she didn't have enough time with her mom. Her biological Dad was also not in the picture, and she really wants better for her baby.
Ashley struggles with her decision but decides she has to do what's best for her daughter and her mom calls the adoption agency. After Ashley and her mom meet with the women from the agency she realizes this is going to be harder then she thought.
Ashley then gets a phone call from her uncle (her mom's brother); his wife and he would like to adopt the baby if Ashley decides to go through with an adoption. This is both a blessing and a curse to Ashley. She loves the idea of her baby being raised in her family, especially with her Aunt and uncle who she is close with. She loves the idea of being able to see lots of pictures and videos of her child and even have visits on holidays. Best of all she loves how she KNOWS that her baby will be loved and taken care of!
What Ashley doesn't like is how now she feels like she doesn't have any options. She loves her Aunt and Uncle and deciding to keep the baby would be letting them down and hurting them. She doesn't like how now she sees them and the enemy without wanting to, because they will be the ones waiting to take her baby from her when the 48 hour hospital stay is over.
Ashley delivers a beautiful baby girl, who is named Callie. It is absolutely heart breaking to watch Ashley struggle with giving her daughter up for adoption. All she wants to do is hold her daughter, and be a mom. She can't sleep when in the hospital and just keeps asking for more time as the 48 hour mark approaches and she is soon to be discharged from the hospital. She knows leaving the hospital means giving Callie up and she just wants to be with her daughter.
When she get's discharged her mom takes her and baby Callie to her aunt's house. This is where the papers will be signed and Callie will officially be adopted. Ashley can't go in the house right away, she has to stay in the car and compose herself. It is so heart wrenching to watch and imagine the feelings she is going through.
A couple weeks after the papers are signed Ashley is telling her mom how depressed she is and how if she could she would go get her daughter now and bring her home. You can really feel and see the love Ashley has for her daughter and the pain in her eyes.
Her mom talks to her Ashley's Aunt and Uncle and they decide to let Ashley take Callie back and try. Ashley is so lucky her family is so great! Ashley picks Callie up and brings her home. For the next couple months Ashley takes on the responsibility of being Callie's mom, but still can't decide if she should keep her and parent...or choose adoption.
Ashley finally bring in an adoption councillor and she decides that it's best for Ashley to keep Callie because she loves her so much and it's so hard to think of not having her at home with her, but its best for Callie to have a Dad and stay at home mom. She wants her to have a stable home and money for all the things she needs and wants. She doesn't want to keep her and her be raised in daycare and babysitters.
Ashley had to make a very grown up desicion. Her episode was so heartbreaking, but it was also very inspirational and heart-warming. To watch this young mom make such a selfless decision, to see the love she has for her daughter is absolutely breath taking.
Some people agree with her descion and other's will not...do you agree?
Ashley decided to document her whole pregnancy and adoption process from the time she was only 8 weeks along. So if you want to hear more from Ashley herself check out her blog at AshleydSalazar. Her story is not over and she is still questioning if she made the right descsion.